Even still...im not ready. is it too soon...even for me?
i thought i was ok... finding others and moving along...even if they doomed to failure i thought it would bring me some solace. hanging out with new people...i thought that would do the same. i bought a BUNCH of new things for myself...a new desk...new couch...the room looks SO good...no more clutter fuck.
maybe its just...in the middle of me being busy...i forget about my sorrows. but they're still there...and they definately resurface...especially in the wee hours of the morning when i got nothing to do but think...
i definately wish i could get it back...then again i gotta say...does me saying it help my situation at all? of course not..."dont say things like that to discourage yourself" right?
God only knows how much I miss you. EVEN I DONT KNOW...all i know...its fucking alot.
Things have to change...whether back to the way it is...or to move on completely...none of this in between shit. I kinda want the former...
